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I gave a friend $20,000 to buy me a car. He ghosted me. I called the police. What options do I have?
“I just want my money back.” – Getty Images
Dear Quentin,
I believed a “friend” who convinced me to give him $20,000 with the promise that he would buy a car for my wife and me. I knew this guy. We met in person several times and he explained that once I gave him the money, I could trust him.
This happened in March 2021. I contacted the police and gave them everything I knew about this guy: address, phone number and email. The guy lives in another state, so getting a lawyer is difficult, but not impossible – just expensive.
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Since then, the guy has ghosted me and hasn’t responded to texts or emails. To top it off, I have no real proof – just a witness who was also deceived. Most of my evidence is in text messages from T-Mobile, and for legal reasons they can’t give me a copy of our texts.
I feel like an idiot. I need every penny to retire and I just want my money back.
Deceived in California
“The hard truth is that this money is probably gone. Without a receipt, it’s his word against yours. – MarketWatch Illustration
Dear deceived,
When dealing with “friends” and business partners, money is not king.
In an ideal world, trust someone before you give them money and whether it’s for business or personal, you always get a receipt. If it is a loan, you will need to sign a notarized loan agreement. If none of this happens, the recipient can simply claim it is a gift.
In California, “theft under false pretenses” involves a party taking your property by lying to you or making a false promise. “The fact is that ‘false pretenses’ are a theft crime, just like shoplifting or auto theft,” according to the Shouse California Law Group.
“If you are charged with this crime, you could face the same types of penalties as someone accused of one of these more conventional types of theft,” the law firm adds. But proving this can be notoriously difficult – that is, assuming you can track it down.
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You can threaten to go to the district attorney’s office or the Better Business Bureau in addition to the police if he doesn’t give your money back. Send him a certified letter that sets out a firm deadline and what you will do, as described above, if he doesn’t meet it.
The harsh truth
The hard truth is that that money is probably gone. Without a receipt, it’s his word against yours. If you are 65 or older, his actions may be viewed as elder abuse, which is defined as the physical or emotional abuse, neglect, or financial exploitation of someone 65 or older.
Elder abuse in California is punishable as a misdemeanor, which can result in a county jail sentence of up to one year, or as a felony, which is punishable by up to four years in state prison. A financial crime is defined as theft, fraud or embezzlement.
If it was an electronic transfer? You can compile your “documentary evidence,” which refers to any written or recorded material that is relevant to the alleged crime, in accordance with the Law Offices of Mark M. Childressa law firm with offices in Texas.
Heavy legal fees
“This may include receipts, invoices, bank statements, contracts and so on,” the law firm states. “This evidence helps establish ownership or prove financial transactions related to stolen property… Documents help establish a clear timeline of events.”
If you handed this person $20,000 in cash, it would be extremely challenging to prove that it was not a gift or, in fact, that you gave them the money. It could be his word against hers, and a reputable lawyer will tell you if the case is worth pursuing.
It’s a lot of money, but it could end up costing so much in legal fees when it’s over that it’s not worth the effort. Hiring a lawyer to help you fight this case can cost between $250 and $800 per hour, or $5,000 to $25,000 per fraud.
Your case is too big to file in small claims court, and hiring an attorney could end up costing you thousands of dollars in legal fees, so you’re stuck between a rock (the stolen money) and a hard place (the cost to you to take that person to justice).
Do you want to go through all this for $20,000?
Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell: